Mississippi Schools Ban Bible for Contradicting the Bible

Mississippi public school district 197 has announced that they will ban the Holy Bible from public schools, claiming that it contains too many contradictions with the Bible to be acceptable for children to read. “We just don’t feel comfortable letting our children read books that aren’t in line with the teachings of Scripture, and unfortunately the Bible happens to be one of those books”, stated district representative Sharon Bier. “There’s only one true story of creation, and it’s certainly not Genesis 2:4”, she later added.

This decision has been met with mixed reviews from the parents, many of whom grew up having the bible taught in their own classrooms. “I say teach the controversy”, said Matt Green, father of third-grader Aaron Green. “Obviously Isaiah 14:21 tells us that our children should be slaughtered for our own sins, that they do not rise, nor possess that land, nor fill the world with cities, but I think we should let kids struggle with Deuteronomy 24:16 which says, well, the opposite”. Matt later added, “Oh yeah, there’s also that part with the tablets that say ‘Don’t kill people’, which kind of throws a wrench in things too I guess”.

Mary Richtig, mother of 6th and 8th-graders Nate and Angie Richtig, said that she wholeheartedly agrees with the board’s decision. “I don’t want my kids reading Jesus’ sermon on the mount and seeing quotes such as ‘You have heard it said… but I say’, speaking out against ideas put forth in the Old Testament. I just don’t want them thinking that our current theological pillars could be in any way wrong, or that our understanding of God is susceptible to change”.

All schools in district 197 will pull all Bibles out of schools starting Tuesday. The board also stated that this is not a permanent decision, and this topic may be revisited in 1,290 days in accordance with Daniel 12:11.